Holocoste Crocodile Shirt

Okay, so it was one of those mornings, you know? Spilled coffee all over my new blouse – classic – while simultaneously trying to dodge a rogue scooter and answer a frantic text from my mom about the garden gnomes (long story), all while the radio blared some awful pop song and I overheard two women arguing about whose dog ate whose croissant. Anyway, I grabbed a sad-looking banana and was frantically trying to plan my weekend getaway when I saw it – the ad for this amazing Holocoste Crocodile Shirt from Tee Love USA, and honestly, it completely made my day. It was like a tiny beacon of awesome in a sea of morning chaos.

I mean, seriously, a Holocoste Crocodile Shirt? It’s like the most gloriously absurd thing ever. A crocodile, apparently enjoying a holo-something-or-other? It’s so ridiculous that it’s brilliant. I almost choked on my banana, it was so unexpected. That’s right, almost.

The crocodile itself, though, that’s a masterpiece. It’s got this slightly sinister smirk, like it knows something we don’t, kind of reminds me of that one creepy uncle we all have…you know the one… Anyway, I’m obsessed with the way the scales are rendered on the Holocoste Crocodile Shirt, they’re almost iridescent, like an oil slick reflecting the setting sun, or maybe a particularly shiny piece of discarded bubblegum? It’s just wild.

The fabric is so soft, like a cloud made of pure comfort. It’s that perfect blend of breathable and durable, you know? I wore it all day, from that disastrous morning to a surprisingly fun evening out and I even accidentally spilled some salsa on it and it washed right out! It fits perfectly, true to size, I got a medium; though I’m considering getting a large just because, you know, comfy. Plus, my little nephew keeps trying to steal it. He loves the Holocoste Crocodile Shirt more than his own toys apparently.

“Most comfortable shirt ever!” – Customer Review, TeeLoveUSA.com. “This shirt is a conversation starter!” – Buzzfeed. “A must-have for any discerning reptile enthusiast!” – Reptile Magazine? (okay maybe I made that last one up). Anyway, whatever. Don’t just stand there drooling – get your own Holocoste Crocodile Shirt now!